Beginner’s guide on how to talk dirty to your partner

While dirty talk may feel strange at first as you either think about cheesy porn scenes, four-letter words being screamed or wonder about the perfect dirty things to say to your partner. First of all, you need to take a breath and relax!

Many people use dirty talk, one of the most useful things to develop a connection or feel heated up. Here's how to talk dirty during sex, plus sexy things to say to your partner outside the bedroom to build excitement. 

Why talk dirty to your partner?

Dirty talk with your partner as part of the sexual buildup helps improve sexual desire, transitioning into physical foreplay and, of course, passion during sex. 

Dirty talk over the phone or text has been proven to be a helpful factor in making long-distance relationships work. Knowing what to say to arouse your partner can speed up getting into the right mood for both of you. Use some sex toys, dim the lights, and it will feel as if you are not apart at all. 

What can I say?

Rather than directly jumping into the dirty talk and saying something weird and shocking, slowly ease into it. Observe the environment, responses, and overall mood first to avoid bewildering or unsettling your partner.

Lay some groundwork by using build-up phrases as starting points, allowing both of you to ease into the mood before engaging in sex. 

Once you feel the response from your partner is well, you can become more adventurous and experiment with different words and phrases to see how they feel.

Here are a few dirty talk phrases that you could try before and during sex with your partner:

Before sex

• I really need you right now
• I get so turned on just thinking about you
• I can’t wait to feel you inside me/be inside you
• I want to give you the best oral you’ve ever had
• I want to kiss you all over …
• You can do whatever you want to me tonight
• I can’t wait until we’re both alone so that I can get you naked
• I’m picturing us naked together right now
• I’ve just had the most amazing flashback to last night
• Fancy having an early night tonight?

During sex

• That/you feel so amazing
• I love how big/wet/soft you feel right now
• Please don’t ever stop what you are doing
• This is the best feeling ever
• You are turning me on so much
• I want you to take control of me
• I want to taste you
• I want to make you cum
• I’ve missed your body so much
• I want you to lick/kiss me here/there

How to talk dirty

The first step is to overcome nervousness, especially if you haven’t previously been involved in any dirty talk with a partner. Just relax and enjoy the idea that adding a little pinch of dirty talk to your intimate moments is a natural progression. 

During sex, the way you share your thoughts can be as impactful as the thought itself. Start with whispers and seductive tones to ensure your words don't appear harsh, offensive, or derogatory unless they align with your mutual preferences.

It might seem silly, but a little bit of practice in advance of what you will say to your partner can be really helpful. Of course, only practice when you are alone! 

So why not try dirty talk with your partner tonight and assess its suitability for both of you? Always prioritize the comfort and enjoyment of both partners as the ultimate goal.